Knowing that hundreds of millions read advice columns daily, with additional how-to improve yourself videos and podcasts, I began to feel a little less guilty in my obsession. I’ve indulged in other forms of advisement over the decades: Talk and Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Mindfulness Meditation, Landmark Forum, Gottman Couple’s Counseling, Neurolinguistic Visualization, and even Hypnotism—the list goes on for decades ending with my latest ‘reinvention to find guidance’ hobby—Psychedelic Retreats.
I got hooked on Dear Abby as a kid. My dad was a newspaper printer, and we were the first to receive the morning edition when he returned from work. Upon awakening, I’d flip open the pages to her column before sunrise. Thousands have attended conferences dedicated to Dear Abby, the mother of newspaper advice columnists. With tidbits such as, “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.” Funny yet practical advice held generations in thrall. There has been a resurgence of past columns from other funny ladies. The most recent was E. Jean Carroll (with a nod to her win in court against a certain former president), who once said in the 1980s, “The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” Today, millions continue the advice column traditions on viral Reddit threads, podcasts, YouTube videos, and Quora opinions filling the digital space.
Advice on taboo subjects can be serious or can cause a chuckle. For pure comedy, no one was better than the indomitable Dr. Ruth. From her unforgettable quips such as, “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away,” to Dan Savage’s more serious, “no one can tell you your sex life is over.” Responses on illicit questions offer a delightful mix of wisdom, wit, and just the right amount of scandal to keep us all intrigued—and maybe even a little bit aroused.
There’s also something inherently comforting reading about other people’s problems. Whether it’s navigating an overzealous mother-in-law or figuring out the best way to tell your roommate their homemade kombucha smells like wet dog, advice columns are the guilty pleasure that give us all a little insight into the human condition. Within a few paragraphs we become engaged in another’s life story, like watching a soap opera unfold, except the drama is real, the characters are everyday people, and the plot twists confusing. Who among us hasn’t taken some pride in realizing, yes, I’m effed up, but look at this guy?
Are Advice Columnists Modern-Day Philosophers?
In my search to shovel my way out of this habitual time-sucking mess and find the perennial pony, I began exploring the history of advice. Not all ancients documented their messages, but their followers did, and those tidbits of advice have been saved for future generations. From the Greeks to Buddha, wisdom and guidance have always been sought to help us navigate the human experience. Today, that wisdom just happens to come through an email inbox or a podcast. At first glance, the work of columnists may seem like casual commentary on the trivial annoyances of modern life. But upon closer examination you’ll find that they’re grappling with fundamental questions that have preoccupied philosophers for millennia: What is happiness? How do we live a good life? How should we treat others? What is the right path to take when faced with moral dilemmas?
Socrates—Philosopher/Adviser
Let’s start with the ancient Greeks, often seen as the forefathers of Western thought. Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle didn’t sit around discussing abstract ideas simply for intellectual exercise—they were deeply concerned with practical living. Socrates famously stated that “the unexamined life is not worth living,” urging followers to constantly navel gaze and reflect on their values, actions, and relationships with others.
Take an issue like infidelity using Socrates famous one-liner. Columnist Cheryl Strayed (Dear Sugar) doesn’t provide a quick fix or superficial advice. Instead, she pushes readers to confront deeper emotional truths and examine the patterns that lead them to these crises. She asks readers to take a step back and reflect on their lives, their behaviors, and their beliefs—just like Socrates would have done in ancient Athens. Sugar essentially reminds us to “live the (un)examined life.”
Buddha–Bodhi Tree Hugger/Adviser
What does Buddhism share with the work of modern therapists and advice columnists? At the core of Buddhist teaching is the idea of dukkha, often translated as ‘suffering’ or ‘unsatisfactoriness,’ which arises from attachment and desire. The goal is not to escape suffering altogether, but to develop an awareness and acceptance of it through mindfulness and compassion. Advice columnists echo this Buddhist principle. When someone writes in about a life situation that can’t be ‘fixed’—perhaps the death of a loved one, an irreparable relationship, or deep-seated anxiety—the columnists present reality, guiding them toward the understanding that life is messy, involves suffering, and that sometimes the very act of surviving is what takes the most courage and compassion.
Philosophy, Self-Help, Or Self-Indulgence?
I believe columnists draw on the wisdom of philosophers. Epictetus, Seneca, Plato, and even Freud find their way into the writings of today’s advice-givers. Whether consciously or not, these modern thinkers are synthesizing ancient wisdom into pragmatic, digestible digital advice for the masses. The next time you find yourself reading advice columns for hours, consider that it isn’t idle gossip or a time waster, but rather enlightenment. Or, perhaps, this is simply an excuse to continue feeding my morning advice addiction while indulging in yet another double-shot latte.
